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Autistic people may use perfectionism to address chronic confusion and uncertainty.

The fictitious Mozart in "Amadeus" struggles with resolving how to go on without his father's approval.

Letting go of one form of approval or love may open us up to receiving love from others.

Perfectionism is pronounced in the autistic population (Greenaway et al., 2010), as autistic individuals tend to struggle with black-and-white thinking and a need for certainty, thereby using the pursuit of perfection to try to eliminate confusion and even self-doubt. In relationships, they may struggle to fit in because they tend to march to the beat of their own drummer. However, they may, simultaneously, fixate on attaining social approval. So, they often remain locked in a paradox, trying to answer the question of, Am I impossible to love?

The 2025 dramatic series Amadeus, a fictitious account of the final years of famed composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, provides a stellar example of the life of an autistic individual. In the show, Mozart, a musical prodigy, is plagued by alcoholism, emotional instability, and a chronic need for validation. His life, at this stage at least, can be described as a desperate attempt to be acknowledged. In a pivotal scene, after the opening of The Marriage of Figaro (the timeless opera), Mozart encounters his father, hoping for, and even expecting, praise. Instead, his father scolds him for neglect, for failing to seriously consider how his opera, based on a banned book, could contribute to national instability and civil strife in a vulnerable period—during wartime.

Mozart, stunned, asks his father, “You couldn’t hear it, could you?” Then, more so speaking to himself, says, “You never could.” As his father exits, the look on Mozart’s face reads: And you never will. His father, more concerned with optics and, in all fairness, duty, never exhibits much of an interest in his son—who........

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