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One of the most important tasks for new stepparents is to create a positive bond with stepchildren.

Being an ally to stepchildren is one way to build a connection with them.

Being an ally may involve being an advocate for a stepchild, taking their side in a dispute with other people.

Allying can involve intervening, protecting, helping stepchildren solve problems, and showing support.

A basic task for stepparents is to bond positively with stepchildren. When stepparents and stepchildren get along well with each other, all family members are happier and experience fewer problems and couple/marital relationships are better. Relationships between stepparents and stepchildren are key to promoting individual and stepfamily well-being.

I am one of the many researchers who have spent years studying what works for members of stepfamilies. I focus on how people create and sustain effective and satisfying relationships. I have been blogging about research evidence regarding what works, concentrating recently on what stepparents do to build positive connections with their stepchildren (see "First Steps for Stepparents"). I have covered research on play ("Having Fun with Stepchildren") and work ("Getting Closer to Stepchildren Through Working Together"), and now I examine another successful approach to bonding with stepchildren – being an ally.

What Does It Mean to Be an Ally?

Being an ally basically means showing that you support the stepchild. This can be done by encouraging them, communicating support, and offering........

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