I’ve always had a hard time believing in God, particularly after Rob died. Even when I was cursing Him out, it just felt like I was talking to myself. So I thought it was finally time for me and Him to have a little sit-down and settle our differences, man to creator of the universe.

Me: Hello? Hi? Anybody home?

Him: Who goes there?

Me: It’s Larry. Shouldn’t you have known that?

Him: Come back tomorrow!

Me: But I’m here now.

Him: Do not arouse the wrath of the great and powerful Oz! I said come back tomorrow!

Me: What are you talking about?

Him: Ha! I’m just playing with you, Lar. Relax. Take a load off. What can I do you for?

Me: Well, first of all, I’m not sure if I even believe in you. And second of all, if you do exist, let’s just say that I’ve never been one of your biggest fans.

Him: I totally—and when I say totally, I mean encompassing all knowledge of the universe past, present, and future—understand. What’s on your mind, my son?

Me: That’s what’s been on my mind—my son! And I’ve hated you ever since you took him from us!

Him: I get it, Lar. You loved Rob like nothing else. You were a great father and did everything you could’ve done for him.

Me: And then you took him away!

Him: I can see why you feel that way, again, because of the whole omniscient thing, but you already know why Rob is no longer with you.........

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