Joining a grief group was fundamental in healing my broken heart after my son Rob took his own life. Other than playing sports and going to a few AA meetings with him, I had never done much of anything in a group. I’ve always tended to be a lone wolf rather than traveling in a pack. But I was in so much pain after his death and knew from many years of therapy that I desperately needed to do something to help myself cope.

So I Googled “grief support,” found Our House Grief Support Center, and after an initial intake meeting…was put on a waiting list. Although you wouldn’t know it on the surface, grief is apparently very popular in LA.

If you’ve never been in a grief group (and I sincerely hope that’s the case), it goes something like this…

The first thing you notice is everyone’s eyes. It’s the same look you see in the mirror every day. It’s the vacant thousand-yard stare, the look of someone who is not there. And that’s the thing: You’re all sitting shoulder-to-shoulder in a circle and, at the same time, you’re all, to varying degrees, detached from reality.

The two group leaders ask you to briefly introduce yourself with your name, the name of your child, and how he, she, or they died. Then, one by one, that’s what each member of the group does. You hear one horror story after another—overdoses, suicides, cancers, freak........

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