What Is a Chronic Illness?

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Self-criticism in chronic illness often stems from emotions like shame, anger, and sadness.

Modifying self-criticism involves enlisting healthy parts of the self to challenge negative self-talk.

Cultivating self-protection and self-compassion counters the damage of self-criticism.

Living with chronic illness is hard. Symptoms can affect our ability to do seemingly simple tasks. They also can be embarrassing and difficult to talk about. In short, chronic illness can make us feel diminished, angry, sad, and ashamed.

Sometimes, people living with chronic illness take all of these challenging emotions and turn them against themselves (Trindade et al., 2019). For example, a woman living with multiple sclerosis berates herself when she loses her balance, calling herself "stupid and weak." A man living with IBD isolates from friends, thinking, “I’m no fun to be around.” A person with rheumatoid arthritis blames themselves for not being “a good patient” who can accept their diagnosis with equanimity.

This post examines the way self-criticism manifests in chronic illness. We will try to understand it together and look at ways to modify it.

When Self-Criticism Is Helpful—and When It Isn't

I want to differentiate helpful from harmful self-criticism (Sokova, 2025). Helpful self-criticism—which I would label “quest for self-improvement”—identifies places where we can improve our quality of life, set attainable goals toward that end, and implement changes that move us toward those goals. When we pursue self-improvement, we often feel purposeful and empowered. We are identifying issues within our control, making a plan that feels do-able, and acting........

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