The moment the 14-year-olds arrived on the first day of sleepaway camp, the subdivisions were clear. At the highest level, the kids fell into one of three groups: cool, under-the-radar, and bullied, each clearly communicating their status with their presence.

In addition to myself and another counselor, our bunk had three cool, fourunder-the-radar, and three bullied kids. The bullying was mostly verbal, but occasionally crossed over into physical, coming from both cool and under-the-radar kids. It was gut wrenching.

I sat down with the three cool kids. “Imagine a movie where a kid is getting bullied, and then some other kid steps up to protect him. Which of those three characters do you want to be?” Unanimous.

“Great, because I really need your help. My job is to protect the three kids in our cabin who get bullied. Can you please help me look out for them? Make sure the other kids don’t pick on them, especially from the other bunks? I don’t know how I can do this without your help. Can I count on you?”

Instantaneous transformation. The framing may have enticed them, but the kindness locked it in. They were even cooler as protectors and they felt great about themselves. At night they used to talk about girls or what they accomplished in sports. Now they were bragging about how they looked out for other kids.

It spread beyond the bunk; for that summer, at least, status was driven by kindness. The most confident kids were still the most........

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