When we go through a breakup, our emotions can feel like they’re completely out of control. One minute we’re relieved, thinking, I’m better off without them, and the next we’re crying over an old song, longing for their presence. This rollercoaster of emotions is exhausting and confusing and leaves many of us feeling lost.

But as a therapist, I can tell you that this emotional chaos is not only normal—it’s necessary for healing.

Our brains process breakups in a way that is remarkably similar to grief. In fact, losing a relationship can trigger the same stages of grief that may occur when we lose a loved one: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Each stage comes with its own emotional........

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