The term "self-care" is all over social media, in books, on blogs, and in memes. People are wearing the self-care T-shirt but not actually practicing it. It’s rarely on the top of their to-do list.

Especially for men. It’s at the bottom of the list with pedicures and massages. Too many men believe self-care is an extra, that men don’t need self-care, that any man who practices self-care is weak.

That’s a false belief.

First, instead of theorizing about self-care, let’s reexamine what it actually looks like in everyday life. Understand that self-care is different from self-love. If you’re nowhere near a place of love for yourself, self-care can be a conduit to self-love.

The truth is, we all struggle with self-love because we don’t know how to love ourselves. It’s not something we practice. Yes, we’re good at loving others. But rarely do we even prioritize loving ourselves, much less practice it.

So start small. Plan the first date with yourself and see where it goes.

Look, it doesn’t have to be dinner and a movie. Or at the other extreme, a trip to Bali. That’s self-help talk. A first date with yourself can be a walk. Or a workout. Or a cup of coffee sitting on a brick wall on a Saturday afternoon.

It’s not about the activity. It’s about the connection.

Are you connecting with yourself? Leaning into the........

© Psychology Today