As kids, we weren’t just curious and fearless, climbing trees barefoot and seeking adventure. We got bullied and taunted for wearing the same shirt or for not having a tradable lunch. We saw our parents throw chairs, get divorced, or drink too much.

We had to grow up fast, get jobs, and take care of our siblings. If you’re a woman, you were taught to be nice, helpful, and quiet. Your boundaries were crossed. Something was taken from you. If you’re a man, you were taught—if not by your dad, then by locker rooms and society—to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, suppress your feelings, and “man up.”

All of this wires us a certain way. We become afraid, emotionally stunted, and vulnerable. We attach ourselves to others and their opinions of us because we don’t have a strong sense of self. But our souls haven’t been crushed by shitty jobs and lopsided relationships yet.

We don’t know anything about credit card debt, or taxes, or rejection. We haven’t been cheated on, lied to, or ghosted. Fear and false beliefs have not hijacked us yet. Our mental dial is locked on “explore.” We want to jump off things. To learn what ants taste like. There’s so much to do. Every day is an adventure, the world is big, and we are curious and fearless about that world.

As we move into adulthood, we discover we are........

© Psychology Today