You don't like to fight, or even if you do, whether it is with a friend or your life partner, you want to get it under control without it requiring a major ordeal. Here are four key steps to master to help you avoid fighting—and they don't require personality surgery, just a little ego control.

1. If your partner or friend has accused you of being defensive, or if you realize that about yourself, make an effort to agree in principle with what has been said. Don’t do this as a diversionary tactic; do it with sincerity. For example, if you are accused of being selfish, respond with something like, “You’re right, I am selfish on occasion.” Debating about whether you were selfish in any particular instance will probably result in a futile argument, but agreeing that you are, at times, selfish (which is probably true), will........

© Psychology Today