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Projections come from parts of ourselves we don't like and attribute to others instead of acknowledging.

They're hard to recognize because we believe our perceptions reflect objective reality.

A friend or partner's objection to your characterization offers an opportunity to explore your own feelings.

Understanding the feelings we project onto others can mean greater self-knowledge and better relationships.

We do it a lot, but we’re not aware of it. Projection is when we perceive a feeling inside of us as coming from the outside, usually from a person close to us. When, for example, we might accuse a lover of flirting instead of recognizing our own roving eye or guilt for past infidelities.

Generally, projections are parts of ourselves we don’t like, our negative or shadow self that we attribute to others in order to maintain our self-regard. The results can be tragic when we project onto groups we think of as “those people” the shameful qualities we don’t want to see in ourselves, such as aggression, dishonesty, or “animal” sexuality.

The trouble, of course, is that blaming others for our own disturbing feelings distorts reality and can erode relationships. But what to do about projection is a challenge. It’s difficult recognize that our assessment of others may not be objective reality, which is why it can be helpful to investigate projections when the opportunity arises.

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