Why We Fall for People Who Don’t Love Us Back
Falling in love can feel magical—until it isn’t mutual. Most of us have either experienced or witnessed someone falling hard for a person who didn’t feel the same. The emotional pain that follows can be just as intense as a breakup, even though a “real” relationship may never have existed. Why does unrequited love affect us so deeply? How can we feel so attached to someone who doesn’t love us back?
The Brain Doesn’t Wait for Permission
Love isn’t always logical. Neuroscience shows that falling in love activates the brain’s reward system, especially the dopamine pathways—similar to the effect of addictive substances. The experience of romantic attraction sparks powerful emotional and physical responses. In mutual relationships, the brain is rewarded consistently. But in unrequited love, we often end up chasing intermittent rewards—a smile, a kind word, a fleeting moment of attention. This kind of unpredictable reinforcement, known as intermittent reinforcement, actually strengthens emotional © Psychology Today
