In the first post, we looked at why setting boundaries with family triggers such intense guilt, and what healthy boundaries actually look like. You learned that your tight throat and clenched stomach when thinking about saying no came from years of learning that keeping the peace mattered more than speaking your truth.

Now comes the practical part: How do you actually set these boundaries?

Before you can set a boundary, you need to know what's working and what's not. Notice these things with some self-compassion.

Ask yourself:

Your needs are information. They're telling you something important about what would help you show up in a way that is good for you.

This can be a big challenge for many parents in my coaching practice. They can understand in their brains that they are people with needs, but they don't really believe in their bodies that they're worthy of having their needs met.

If you don't believe deep down that your needs matter as much as everyone else's, you'll keep overriding them. You'll set a boundary and then cave when someone pushes back.

You'll say, "We're leaving at 4 p.m.,"........

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