Understanding Jealousy

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Jealousy is often not about your partner. It's about how convincing two words can be: "What if?"

One of the most crucial shifts is recognizing when jealousy comes from fear, not evidence.

The more you recognize your "What ifs" are not evidence, the less jealous you will feel in your relationship.

Most relationship jealousy does not start with flirting, cheating, or betrayal. It starts with two small words: "What if?" Here are some of the top relationship-busting, problematic thoughts. "What if they lose interest?" "What if she discovers I am not enough for her?" "What if they end up liking someone else more?" And, last but not least, "What if I trust him and then I get hurt?"

These "What-ifs" fall under what I refer to as toxic thoughts. Years ago, I explained in my book, Why Can't You Read My Mind?, how "What-ifs" are the thought mechanism that can lead couples into overactive imaginations and catastrophic conclusions. These thoughts lead couples to........

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