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Think of yourself as the thermostat, not the thermometer.

Use fewer words when emotions are high.

Turning down the intensity with your child at any age will help create more room for connection.

Every parent has been there, but the hope is not to live there. What I mean is that when emotions run high between parents and children, it's very tempting to focus on fixing the behavior. You know what I'm saying but just to spell it out some more, here are some examples of those ramped-up, straight-up power struggles: "You need to show more respect"; "You need to stop yelling at me and stop the arguing"; "Hey, I asked you to get off that screen; you need to listen because I'm not gonna ask you again"; "You have been doing nothing for so long; you need to apply for a job."

By the way, I can certainly understand the frustrations facing parents that lead them to speak in this counterproductive, intensity-escalating way. But if you are reading this post, you probably realize none of these "strategies" mentioned here actually work very well. The bottom line is that whether your child is 8, 18, or........

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