Far more often than we realize, the people around us don’t tell us what would be most helpful for us to know, including their unique insights and original ideas—and we don’t ask. When we stay in the dark about what those around us really think, feel, and know, we make worse decisions, stay stuck in frustrating dynamics, and miss out on opportunities for learning and connection.

On the other hand, when we do tap into this goldmine of hidden insights, we can create deeper, more meaningful relationships and unlock new levels of learning and growth. This post outlines a five-step approach for discovering what those around you really think and feel.

Each of us is constantly telling ourselves stories about our own lives and the people in them. We get wrapped up in judgment and resentment and anxiety, so certain about our own perspective that we don’t get curious about what we might not be seeing.

Choosing curiosity is all about breaking out of these certainty loops. We tend to default to certainty instead of curiosity due to a combination of psychological biases and cultural conditioning. It’s a survival strategy—we can’t possibly process all the data we are exposed to every day, so our minds instinctively filter and select a small range of that information in order to make decisions and take action.

So the next time you catch yourself feeling certain, try injecting........

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