Whether it is fear of missing out, sexual boredom, or an innate pull toward polyamory, contemporary couples are increasingly considering consensual non-monogamy (CNM) as a lifestyle choice. Although seemingly simple on its surface, this choice likely includes weighing values, societal judgments, family systems, emotional tolerance levels, and trust. Taking a value-neutral position, this post is intended to help readers evaluate the balance among rational choice, emotional tolerance, and trust in considering a CNM relationship.

A 2024 Match Singles in America report indicated that of those open to CNM relationships, 11 percent endorsed polyamory, 13 percent open relationships, 21 percent being monogamish, 12 percent swinging, and more. If you have never engaged in these types of relationships and are considering it… or if you are considering a new relationship partner who either claims or aspires to one of these forms of CNM, you might want to consider your attachment style. Similarly, if you have been in a monogamous relationship and either you or your partner have become interested in exploring some form of CNM, a clear discussion of each of your attachment styles is in order.

Attachment styles develop in childhood, remain relatively stable across adulthood, and have a powerful influence on how adults think, feel, and behave in........

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