Love, they say, is a many-splendored thing. However, love is hard to define, and that’s equally true for researchers as for the lay public. Aside from varying culturally1, psychological theories of romantic love abound, as described by Chen, Xia and Dunne (2024) in their work on how everyday folks define amore.

Some models of love, they note, emphasize aspects of friendship and sexual attraction; other focus on closeness and affection over passion, which tends to fade over time and be supplanted by a mellower “afterglow” for long-term partners. Sternberg’s widely cited model, for instance, highlights the interrelated role of passion, intimacy, and commitment; other models posit four dimensions of love.

The upshot is that current theories, while overlapping, do not achieve consensus. Empirical research is needed to understand how people actually conceptualize romantic love, the theme of art, literature, and music, and the cause of much intrigue, conflict, and even—in the case of the Trojan War—widespread mayhem and destruction.

In order to better define love as it plays out in real life and relationships for real people, Chen and colleagues conducted a qualitative study with a group of university students and a separate group of adults in the community. They asked participants: “What are the essential components of feeling loved in romantic relationships, as perceived by laypeople?” By using two different groups with diverse subjects and checking to see how much their answers overlapped, they explored the question, “How generalizable are the main components of romantic love across different demographics?” This second question is especially important in establishing whether any findings might be relevant beyond the current research.

Using a process of progressive synthesis, they analyzed narratives from over 500 people, first into concepts, then........

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