Adverse childhood experiences, including child/caregiver attachment disruptions, frequently lead to damaged self-esteem, with its feeling of not being good enough. In adulthood, this can play out in many ways, such as the imposter syndrome and the Mr. Nice Guy syndrome, which we’ve previously described. This post explores a third response to the painful insecurity of damaged self-esteem—perfectionism—as contrasted to excellencism.

As Emamzadeb (2024) noted, “perfectionism can be defined as setting, working toward, and becoming preoccupied with idealized goals that are unrealistically ambitious… Excellencism, on the other hand, can be defined as a tendency to strive toward high yet attainable standards in a determined yet flexible way.” These different approaches to pursuing personal goals have very different effects on life satisfaction and achievements.

Perfectionists think that doggedly striving to perform flawlessly will help them get ahead. So, they are often extremely dedicated and conscientious at work. However, they tend to doubt themselves and their abilities, feel dissatisfied with their efforts, and overreact to mistakes. Their........

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