When you’re single, meeting people is hard.

You see someone attractive and hope they’ll find their way over to you and start an amazing conversation.

If only it were that easy.

Instead, you need to take a little initiative to get the sparks going. If that feels awkward, or you’re thinking, “I don’t know how to do that,” don’t worry. Being good at flirting and meeting people isn’t a trait you’re either born with or not. Rather, it’s a skill you can develop and learn (Allemand et al., 2022).

Here are several common questions about flirting and initial conversations, each with a research-backed answer and strategy for improvement.

Research finds that those being flirted with accurately perceived that the other person was interested only 28 percent of the time (Hall et al., 2014). In other words, roughly 3 out of 4 times people flirt, it goes undetected. Females were especially bad at accurately detecting male flirting (18 percent). Notably, outside observers did even worse.

What does this suggest? Flirters are hard to read because they’re being too subtle, likely because they want to protect their self-esteem and avoid rejection. However, if someone doesn’t even know you’re flirting, what’s the point? Put yourself out there, be a little vulnerable, and make your flirtations more obvious. Direct is best.

There are many flavors of flirting. Researchers at the University of Kansas identified five distinct styles: physical, playful, polite, sincere, and traditional (Hall et al., 2010). Physical flirts rely on body language, playful flirts treat interactions like a game, polite flirts........

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