If you are like most people, you know what it is like to begin a romance only to find, a short time later, various fears begin to arise, such as insecurities regarding whether it will end in heartbreak and disappointment.

This is all too common. Most of the time, these anxious moments are resolved, and the relationship moves forward. But for some folks, that’s not true. Their fears multiply and grow, eventually interfering with their ability to move forward in the relationship.

Men and women who struggle with such fears generally fall into one of two camps.

The first group is composed of those who believe that once someone gets to know them deeply, rejection will follow. Often these are individuals who have been deeply wounded by past rejections.

In the second camp are men and women who worry that if the relationship deepens, they will be trapped by the demands that come with commitment.

For this group emotional intimacy feels like a prison sentence with the terrifying consequence of losing one’s freedom. Unconsciously the person with this fear holds back from becoming emotionally invested.

This reaction may lead to the relationship never deepening to the point of building a healthy sense of mutual interdependence and intimacy.

In short, when left unchecked, each of these fears can strangle a person’s capacity to build rewarding intimate relationships.

Overcoming these fears requires a change in perspective. This change can occur in one of two ways.

The first is by developing a new understanding of what intimacy and commitment entail. Specifically, you come to realize that the thing you were........

© Psychology Today