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The Toxic Relationship Almost Everyone Is in: With Ourselves

86 0
13.05.2024

Eighty percent of Millennials endorse the idea "I am not good enough" with regard to almost every area of their life.

Think back on your last big mistake—what did you say to yourself after you made it?

If you're anything like the high-level executives I teach in my classes at the Yale School of Management, the words go something like this:

“You’re such an idiot.”

“You’re so stupid.”

“You don’t belong here.”

“What were you thinking?”

“You always do this!”

“You’re such a mess.”

Read those harsh words one more time, registering how they make you feel. These are the abusive words humans tear themselves apart with.

Research shows that self-criticism leads to anxiety, depression, fear of failure, and less willingness to try again. This is because self-criticism—from a psychological perspective—is self-loathing. That's right, self-loathing.

We complain of toxic workplaces and toxic relationships. What most people don't realize, however, is that they are often in a toxic relationship with their own selves.

Here’s where you may be thinking, Stop right there. Isn’t a good dose of self-criticism healthy? Isn’t it the key to self-­ improvement? Isn’t it important to be hard on yourself so you don’t fall behind or fail to reach your potential?

Here’s where we........

© Psychology Today


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