If you are like most people, you probably have at least one friendship you value greatly because you have known this person for a very long time. If you met today, you might not choose each other as friends. Most of us evolve as we age and want different things from a friendship than we may have wanted when we were younger.

What do you do if your best friend has not evolved in a positive direction, and you realize that you no longer enjoy his or her company?

Maybe your friend is just going through a bad patch or maybe he or she is stuck in a negative rut. Whatever the reason, you now find this friend unpleasantly self-centered and rather toxic. You no longer have the patience to listen to your friend's complaints because you have used up all your compassion.

By toxic, I mean that you no longer feel good when you are with your friend. Instead of feeling uplifted and happy, you feel depleted and exhausted. You end up wishing you had skipped seeing this friend and had chosen something else to do with the time.

The question now becomes: What should I do? Do I stay friends out of loyalty, or do I leave out of self-preservation? Is there a graceful way out of this dilemma that allows the friendship to continue but on a better path?

This is the situation my client Betty faced. It is a good example of this type of friendship dilemma.

Betty and Suzi have been good friends since elementary school. Their bond was sealed in high school where they formed a united front against the more popular mean girls in their class.

However, these days when they get together for their weekly lunch, Suzi is bitter. Her life has not gone in........

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