There’s an affair happening in millions of relationships. This affair doesn’t need a dimly lit hotel room or whispered late-night phone calls. There are no secret text messages or lipstick on the collar. It doesn’t involve a person at all.

It involves a device.

Every night, in bedrooms across the country, couples lie side by side, physically inches apart but emotionally miles away. The glow of their screens illuminates a silent seductress. This "digital mistress" is always waiting, listening, ready to steal time, stimulate, entertain, and gratify in all the ways her user desires.

One partner scrolls Instagram, coveting a curated life, while the other disappears into LinkedIn, TikTok, or an endless sea of notifications. There’s an occasional chuckle, a muttered "Wow, that’s crazy," but rarely an exchange of words. Neither partner asks, neither explains.

For decades, the greatest threats to intimacy were thought to be infidelity, dishonesty, stress, or lack of communication. But today, another challenge exists—one that doesn’t shatter trust in dramatic ways but erodes connection in small, consistent, imperceptible moments.

As a couples therapist, I see how a third party is competing for intimacy, engagement, and connection. I call it “the digital mistress effect.” The dopamine hold of our devices hijacks attention, floods the brain with pleasure, and leaves us craving more. This may become the most insidious threat to modern relationships.

Research shows that 33-43% of adults use........

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