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"Make me laugh" casts a partner as performer and yourself as audience—a consumption model of joy.

Research shows shared laughter, not delivered laughter, predicts relationship satisfaction.

Happiness depends heavily on intentional activity—a responsibility no partner can carry for you.

The fix is one word: Seek someone you laugh with, not someone who makes you laugh.

Scroll through any dating app and one wish appears more than almost any other: "You should make me laugh."

It sounds harmless—charming, even. Who doesn't want laughter in a relationship? But listen closely to the grammar. You should make me laugh. One person performs; the other receives. One is the comedian; the other is the audience. Before the first date has even happened, the job description assigns your future partner a role: supplier of your good moods.

The wish for laughter is healthy. The outsourcing hidden inside it is not.

What the Research Actually Says About Laughter and Love

Laughter genuinely matters in romantic relationships—but not in the way the dating-profile phrase implies. In a study of couples, Kurtz and Algoe (2015) found that the amount of time partners spent laughing together predicted relationship quality and feelings of closeness. It was the shared moment—two nervous systems in sync—that carried the benefit.

A meta-analysis of 39 studies reached the same conclusion from another direction: Hall (2017) found that relationship satisfaction was linked to humor that partners create and........

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