Fundamentally, what parents give their teenager is who and how they are, by present and past example.

Interaction is always educational.

Thus, parental behavior in disagreement with the teenager can be instructive, influencing how the young person interacts on these conflicted occasions with them, and may approach opposition in other caring relationships later on.

For a good example: “My parents listened and stayed calm, stuck to specifics, answered my questions, cared about my feelings, explained where they stood and why, and talked out with me what needed to be done. At the end of disagreements, we knew each other a little better than we did before.” Thus, well-conducted, conflict can increase intimacy.

For a bad example: “Getting impatient with the arguing, my parents would lose their tempers, then so would I, all of us listening with our minds made up, angry words causing hurt feelings, maybe apologizing after, but feeling tired and sorry, dreading the next time we would disagree.” Thus, ill-conducted, conflict can inflict injury.

How parents act and relate with their child and adolescent is always part of what they teach. So, be........

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