Have you ever had a strong emotional reaction and then judged yourself for it? Told yourself that you shouldn't have gotten so angry, or that you should have had better coping skills? It is a common rut that we all fall into. We think or feel something, then beat ourselves up for it.

Self-criticism can feel productive. If we beat ourselves up, perhaps we will behave better in the future. Unfortunately, when big feelings happen again, as they always do, we then see ourselves as out of control, weak, or like there's something wrong with us.

The reality is that self-criticism does not help you learn. When you judge your thoughts and feelings, you are using the default mode network (DMN). This thought network is responsible for your inner monologue and is automatic. You listen to........

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