Co-authored with Galit Romanelli, M.A.

I love being efficient and getting things done.

I try to stay focused and efficient during working hours. But when my kids were born, hundreds of tasks were added to my to-do list, and it was hard for me to stop being efficient at home.The kids felt like yet another "task." At the end of the workday, I would begin to operate them through the evening routine, trying to stay one step ahead. I wasn’t enjoying time with them or my wife. It was only after they went to bed and the house quieted down that I could finally relax on the couch, snack on something, and be present with my wife.

It took me a few years to realize that in my pursuit of efficiency, I was missing out on my family.

We’re constantly searching for tips and hacks to speed things up, to get more done in less time, to be the perfect multitaskers. At work and at school, we’re rewarded for efficiency, planning, execution, and high productivity. Efficiency is about achieving maximum results with minimum effort.

I refer to being efficient as a trap, an E-fish-net. Like a fishing net that catches everything, efficiency grabs our attention from all directions, preventing us from being present. Efficiency pulls our minds away from the moment, but our bodies always remain in the present. The gap between our efficient, overstimulated minds and our present bodies often leads to stress, frustration, pain, or fatigue.

When we insist on being........

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