What Being a Patient Taught Me About Being a Doctor
As a doctor and a patient, I have experienced the compartmentalization that is necessary to function in both roles. However, this can lead to a fragmented sense of identity, making it difficult to connect with who I really am.
One day, my roles as a doctor and patient intersected. Writing about it revealed the complexities of my identity and the strength found in vulnerability.
“But the stars that marked our starting fall away. We must go deeper into greater pain, for it is not permitted that we stay.” —Dante Alighieri, Inferno
It was a Sunday morning at the hospital, and the CCU was brimming with critically ill patients. Clutching my coffee, I entered the unit and was greeted by the chart of Jack, a young man I had admitted just hours earlier.
His heart was besieged by his own immune system—a misguided assault triggered indirectly by the Coxsackie A virus, which had deceived his body into perceiving the heart as a foreign enemy. There he lay, a tube emerging from a distended vein in his neck, while a machine clicked in sync with his heartbeat at the foot of his bed. Yet it was Jack's countenance, not the machinery, that told the true story of his failing heart and dwindling hope.
Our team—residents, interns, and medical students—convened to commence morning rounds. The previous day had left us with 23 occupied beds out of 24, and it was Jack's critical condition that had secured the last available spot. The team awaited the arrival of its esteemed leader.
Dr. Michael Foster entered the unit with a presence that could have been lifted straight from a "Monty Python" sketch. His British accent, marked by a unique cadence and a selection of eccentric words, signaled to all within earshot that Dr. Foster had arrived—a fact that, in itself, was a positive start to the day.
We began our rounds just outside of Jack’s room. As the most unstable patient, he was the first on our list to discuss, and I was the presenter.
“The patient is a 29-year-old African American male with advanced heart failure due to viral myocarditis. He’s status one on the transplant list and........
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