Positivity is often framed as a person having an optimistic and realistic outlook on life, while simultaneously allowing space for all emotions—the good and the bad—to be identified and processed without resorting to defensive coping strategies such as avoiding, minimizing, or rationalizing felt experiences. Being positive does not mean you have “perfect” mental health. Rather, it suggests that you acknowledge moments of vulnerability, fear, anger, or sadness while giving yourself time and space to process and grow from these difficulties.

On the flip side, toxic positivity is identified as an excessive and shallow display of optimism, at the expense of authentic depth and emotional maturity. Toxic positivity is based on maintaining a “positive” mindset that is unrealistic and unsustainable because it is based on denying negative emotions that are both necessary and adaptive. For example, ignoring or downplaying negative emotions does not eliminate them, but typically causes a rebound effect where repressed emotions resurface with greater intensity. A constant pattern of pushing away negative emotions often shows up as severe and chronic anxiety or physical stress in the body. Thus, over time, there are increased risks for elevated allostatic load which may include high blood pressure, gastrointestinal issues, inflammatory disorders, chronic fatigue, and cardiovascular disease.1

However, in the hands of covert narcissism, what appears as positivity often functions less as genuine optimism and more as a way of managing vulnerability to maintain control. Rather than expressing overt dominance common in grandiose (overt) narcissism, covert narcissists hide their need for entitlement and external validation behind forced........

© Psychology Today