Most people think of narcissistic behavior as loud, extroverted, flashy, and brash, which does often identify a more grandiose narcissist. However, there is a quieter form of narcissism that can go unnoticed, especially when paired with a mundane life. What few recognize is that a vulnerable (or "covert") narcissist can be unpredictable, domineering, or erratic when there has been a threat to their self-worth or their need for validation. Behind their seemingly altruistic, anxious, depressed, or humblebrag persona is a fragile self-identity that depends on validation from external sources, commonly known as "supply."3

When a covert narcissist is well-supplied, they can appear outwardly content. When feeling self-inflated, they often display an active public presence, including flaunting social status or regular social media updates that showcase their achievements, hobbies, or romantic partners. To an outsider, their mask looks authentic and believable.4 However, when they experience interpersonal dysfunction, or their primary supply source is not providing them the reinforcement and validation they seek, this can trigger a series of decompensating behaviors. The moment supply drops due to loss, exposure, or boredom, their mask........

© Psychology Today