Motivational interviewing helps people resolve their ambivalence, tipping the decisional balance in the direction of growth and change. But what does it mean to say that our ambivalence has been “resolved”?

When we’re stuck in ambivalence—as studies in behavior change areas including smoking, drinking, drug use, diet, exercise, sexual behavior, preventive health measures, and more have confirmed—the weight of the cons of leaving the status quo behind keeps the scale evenly balanced, despite the pros of doing something different.

It’s a common error—not only among people who are considering change, but also among MI practitioners—to believe that resolving ambivalence requires that we no longer perceive any cons at all. In fact, ambivalence rarely dissolves; what we like about the way things are—the comfort, pleasure, safety, belonging, material advantages, or other benefits it brings—doesn’t just disappear when we begin to realize what it costs us, or how much we can gain by leaving those things behind.

But the good news is that the cons of change do not........

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