The Call You Never Want to Get

As I sat across from the ocean this past week, I found myself in a quiet state of shock. The kind that settles into the body before the mind can fully catch up. Toward the end of the week, I received a text message that simply asked, “Did you know so-and-so?”

I responded cautiously. “Should I have anxiety?” I am always mindful of not readily disclosing people’s connection to me. My former work as both a therapist and an advocate carries a responsibility to confidentiality, and I hold that with integrity.

The reply came quickly. “Can I call you?”

I immediately ended the FaceTime call I was on and dialed the number. I was not prepared for what I was about to hear.

“They’re dead.”

In disbelief, my response was unfiltered. “What?” Followed by the F word.

A wave of emotion rushed through me. My chest tightened. My body went cold. I could not immediately find the words to offer condolences, not because I did not feel them deeply, but because inside, my many parts were experiencing a collective shock. When you live with dissociative identity disorder (DID), news like this does not land in one place. It ricochets across all parts within.........

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