Fred Smythe, the world’s worst tourist, totally believed everything he read on the internet.

So, when he saw a “Haggis Awareness” post from Visit Scotland — featuring a photoshopped, potato-shaped furball with legs of unequal length — Fred booked a flight. Rachel, his wife, refused to accompany him.

“They’re joking,” she said. “There’s no animal called haggis.”

 “Yeah, right,” Fred scoffed. “Next, you’ll be saying the Loch Ness Monster isn’t real.”             

Fred arrived in Inverness wearing a full ghillie camouflage suit and a pith helmet. He looked like a confused groundhog.

“I’m here for the Great Highland Haggis Migration,” he informed the car rental agent. “I want to see hugs of haggis. You call groups of them ‘hugs,’ right?”

The agent stared at Fred’s camouflage face paint.

“Sir, that’s a joke. A ‘haggis’ is a savoury Scottish pudding made of sheep’s........

© Peterborough Examiner