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Best of the Babylon Bee: Trump honors Hillary Clinton with new federal holiday ‘Almost President’s Day’

Every week, The Post will bring you our picks of the best one-liners and stories from satirical site the Babylon Bee to take the edge off Hump Day. Want more of a chuckle? Be sure to click the links.

“This is a momentous day,” said a federal spokesperson. “The nation’s eyes are upon all those who could have been president, if they hadn’t been total losers.” READ MORE

Sources said that Jennifer first began to encroach on her husband’s territory late last night, cold-heartedly shoving him onto the very edge of the bed. READ MORE

“CBC News can now confirm that local patrolpersons have a positive ID on the gunperson,” said reporterperson Brad Stevenson. READ MORE

“Even without four working limbs, she’s an absolute asset to our team,” said U.S. Paralympic Coach Jeffrey Donovan. READ MORE

Trump honors Hillary Clinton with new federal holiday 'Almost President's Day'

Trump honors Hillary Clinton with new federal holiday 'Almost President's Day'

How to watch Canada vs. Czech Republic men's hockey Olympics quarterfinals for free

How to watch Canada vs. Czech Republic men's hockey Olympics quarterfinals for free

Look for a more competitive showing from Czechia in rematch vs. Canada

Look for a more competitive showing from Czechia in rematch vs. Canada

Up in the Blue Seats - Rangers Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

Up in the Blue Seats - Rangers

The Show with Joel Sherman and Jon Heyman  Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

The Show with Joel Sherman and Jon Heyman 

Blue Rush: NY Giants Football Podcast Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

Blue Rush: NY Giants Football Podcast

Gang’s All Here: A NY Jets Football Podcast Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

Gang’s All Here: A NY Jets Football Podcast

NY Got Game: Basketball Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

NY Got Game: Basketball

Pinstripe Post - Yankees Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

Pinstripe Post - Yankees

Against the Cage - Combat Sports Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

Against the Cage - Combat Sports

Straight Outta Flushing - Mets Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

Straight Outta Flushing - Mets

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Mollie Walker Team USA challenge is about to get even harder for Rangers pals

Team USA challenge is about to get even harder for Rangers pals

Joel Sherman The A-Rod lessons Bo Bichette can heed in third-base adaptation

The A-Rod lessons Bo Bichette can heed in third-base adaptation

Mike Vaccaro MLBPA head's messy exit does players no favors with another work stoppage looming

MLBPA head's messy exit does players no favors with another work stoppage looming

Shia LaBeouf and wife Mia Goth quietly split a year ago: sources

Former Marine created high-tech Bluetooth signal sniffer to find Nancy Guthrie -- and now he is creating an app

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