I did not vote for Zohran Mamdani.

Call me crazy — but a socialist who, until five minutes ago, was gleefully tweeting to defund the police and who refuses to condemn the phrase “globalize the intifada” is not my ideal steward for this glittering center of progress.

But that doesn’t mean I’m going anywhere.

On social media, there’s a relentless schadenfreude chorus of “You deserve what you vote for” from out-of-towners who don’t seem to understand that massive swathes of New Yorkers did not, in fact, vote for Mamdani.

And I also hear from people saying I need to flee while I can. According to one survey, there are nearly 800,000 New Yorkers eyeing an exodus as Mamdani takes City Hall.

Screw that.

And it’s not just because,

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