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Summer at the Hamptons is almost over — so pols better come and get their money while they can

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Feeling beach bummed out

The summer we never had. Soon schleppers will stop waiting on the curb for that gas-smelling bus to haul them out East.

Bye-bye to outdoor beach clubs — a large pool surrounded by small partners. Jammed with outsized behinds, undersized wallets, card-players and cheaters. Weekends it’s husbands who are trying to swim and grabbing a break from the wives.

Small clubs use a bulletin board. Monday night is usually Dancing Under the Stars. The way NYC’s going, it’s renamed Crouching Under the Umbrella. Tuesday, Dinner Dance. Wednesday: photos of the previous night’s dances. Thursday? More pictures of the previous night’s dances. Friday? Hawaiian Night. Saturday, outdoor folk dancing. Sunday? Dancing class where you’re taught to do whatever you loused up all week.

It’s 100 cabanas but the dining room only seats 65. Aged guests are hard of hearing. The sound system is wired to some owl in a tree. These places spend millions on........

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