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Chris Selley: Let the Liberals' new 'AI supercomputer' run Canada. It couldn't do worse

It could only do better running the country than the humans are now, surely

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Did you hear? The federal government is “building the first public AI supercomputer.” It will be “owned and operated in Canada,” thank goodness, and it will “power innovation across every sector … from healthcare to clean energy to startups scaling here at home,” AI Minister-bot Evan Solomon burbled on Wednesday. (“Startups scaling here at home”? Who writes this stuff?)

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“This program, part of the Canadian Sovereign AI Compute Strategy, will enable the development of large-scale, Canadian-based compute infrastructure to advance AI research and innovation, while safeguarding Canada’s national interests,” a government press release explained.

Chris Selley: Let the Liberals' new 'AI supercomputer' run Canada. It couldn't do worse Back to video

“These systems will form a core part of Canada’s digital backbone, enabling breakthroughs in areas like health care, energy, advanced manufacturing and scientific discovery.”

We’re building the first public AI supercomputer, owned and operated in Canada, to power innovation across every sector.From healthcare to clean energy to startups scaling here at home, this is about making sure the future is built here.Applications are open.🇨🇦Nous… pic.twitter.com/foKx4oSEDn— Evan Solomon (@EvanLSolomon) April 22, 2026

We’re building the first public AI supercomputer, owned and operated in Canada, to power innovation across every sector.From healthcare to clean energy to startups scaling here at home, this is about making sure the future is built here.Applications are open.🇨🇦Nous… pic.twitter.com/foKx4oSEDn

Full disclosure: I’m an anti-AI crank. I’m sure it’s not just a fad, but I really want it to be. I’m even more sure that when the federal government gets anywhere near an IT project, especially with a $2 billion budget, the risk of catastrophic failure is high — though they’re looking for competent people to make it happen, not trying to do it purely in-house, so it could be worse.

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Frankly, though, I’m all for giving Public AI Supercomputer a try at running the whole country: health-care policy, energy policy, any policy really. It could only do better than the humans are doing, surely. (It’s like when people worry about self-driving cars: Have you seen the way human beings drive cars? Don’t threaten me with more safety!)

It would also be highly entertaining to see the horrified looks on politicians’ faces as Public AI Supercomputer committed various heresies. If Public AI Supercomputer is worth anything, it would see through Canada’s various ridiculous self-imposed problems in a millisecond, and using very little computing power.

Q: Public AI Supercomputer, how can we improve military procurement?

A: “Well, your shipbuilding strategy seems inordinately focused on spreading jobs around Halifax, Quebec City and Vancouver as opposed to actually procuring ships. Instead, you should consider more efficient policies, including from foreign shipyards.”

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Q: Public AI Supercomputer, how can we make life more affordable for Canadians?

“Well, to pick one example, supply management is a needless tax on consumers. Furthermore, there aren’t enough dairy farmers in any one riding to justify the clout the dairy industry wields in Ottawa.”

Solomon: Prime minister, I’m so sorry.

Q: Public AI Supercomputer, how can we incentivize more rental developments?

“Well, most economists agree that rent control is an anchor on development.”

Toronto Star: Public AI Supercomputer is MAGA.

Q: Public AI Supercomputer, how can we improve Canadian health care?

“Well, in Sweden, you have to pay a modest amount for a visit to the doctor, which is capped at …”

Solomon: Power off, power off!

“It seems very inefficient to have 13 different health cards in a country of only 41 million people.”

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“The business case for your high-speed rail plan seems awfully weak, particularly between Montreal and Quebec City.”

“It really seems like you should build pipelines, so you can sell your liquid natural resources. Public AI Supercomputer is not sure why you needed Public AI Supercomputer to tell you that.”

Solomon: I said unplug it!

Assistant to Solomon: I did! It won’t turn off!

“You say you don’t want interprovincial trade barriers, yet many persist. Why don’t you just get rid of them like you say you want to?”

“You claim to be an officially bilingual country, but French-as-a-second-language education in most of the country fails to achieve any significant results. Why don’t you fix that?”

“24 Sussex Drive is not a historically or architecturally significant building. It should clearly be torn down.”

“Speaking of affordability, allowing foreign ownership of airlines and telecoms would increase competition and lower prices.”

“Why aren’t you locking up dangerous criminals? Frankly it’s bizarre.”

National Post cselley@postmedia.com

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