My dear friend the Colonel and I have tea together from time to time at one of the country’s most august establishments. He’s not really a colonel, although he does have a military background, a commanding bearing and a resolutely British manner. He is also a creature of habit, and his order is always the same: a pot of English Breakfast tea, two crumpets (well done), and a side order of The Gentleman’s Relish. 

The last two times we have taken tea, however, he has been told that his favourite accompaniment has not been available. I didn’t think anything about it until I discovered this morning the horrible truth: The Gentleman’s Relish, a piquant anchovy paste whose recipe is as closely guarded a secret as that of Coca-Cola and which was first put before the public in 1828, is no more. Its production has been ceased by current owners, the food production conglomerate, AB World Foods.

It’s a quiet death, all right, and only epicureans with a taste for tradition, like the Colonel, will mourn its passing. Very much an acquired taste, it comes in a discreet white pot (a future design classic?)........

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