I consider it self-growth that at age 31, I am starting to accept that men I go on dates with will casually tell me they think they, too, might just have ADHD. When pressed on why this is, they describe a couple of traits anyone is prone to, like being high-energy or getting distracted. I find this irritating because I really do have ADHD. And I can assure you that I was not so flippant about my diagnosis 10 years ago which changed my life, and helped me make sense of its defining feature.

There’s a new phenomenon I’ve encountered on the dating scene over the last few months – men who define themselves as “neurospicy”. It’s meant to be a cute, fun way of saying neurodivergent. Social media is full of slang words but there is a risk they minimise the impact of conditions. In my experience with men, it often goes hand in hand with being ethically non-monogamous or demisexual. It can be used to give licence for poor behaviour – a guy I dated once told me he could only meet me if other plans fell through, because he was “neurospicy”.

Now, I........

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