Ripping the Headlines Today, 3/9/26
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to
The news, even that about RFK Jr. wanting chains to prove they serve “safe drinks,” doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon. Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:
RFK Jr. says he wants Dunkin’ and Starbucks to prove they serve “safe........
