That Trump bombed at the rescheduled White House Correspondents’ Dinner is no secret. Here’s what he should’ve said.

Our President’s recent, horrific, performance at the rescheduled White House Correspondents’ Dinner is already the stuff of legend. Let’s face it, Trump bombed. Perhaps it would be less legendary if he’d gone the conventional comedic route. Here are excerpts from a suggested monologue that might have worked better…

Would you believe the Democrats poked fun at me for calling the Declaration of Independence a “declaration of unity and love”? Obviously, they don’t know what it really is: … a sex manual. [pause] That’s why it begins “When intercourse in humans commence…” [pause for laughs]

But seriously, I know the Declaration well … having finally read it last night. [pause] It’s the Patriot’s complaint that George wasn’t a nice king. He really was a very NOT nice King. He committed more Intolerable Acts in three months than I could commit in a day … [wait for audience to get it]

I happen to have here my copy of the Declaration [take out copy]. Let me read you some of George’s sins…

He obstructed the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners. [pause] Hmmm…

He made Judges dependent on his Will alone. [pause] Wait, he did that?

He protected armed troops from punishment for Murders they commit on the inhabitants of these States.........

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