Growing Up, I Was Embarrassed That My Sister Was ‘Different.’ As Adults, She Changed My Life In A Way I Never Saw Coming.

“All I wanted was to fit in, but it was hard with an older sister who stood out.”

My older sister, Maria, has an intellectual disability, though it wasn’t always immediately obvious. When we were kids, she talked to herself long after imaginary play was supposed to end. She got overwhelmed by things that seemed small to everyone else. School was hard for her.

I grew up loving my sister, before I learned that the rest of the world saw her as “different.” When you’re a kid, “different” doesn’t feel like a compliment. All I wanted was to fit in, but it was hard with an older sister who stood out.

And whenever I was invited somewhere, there was usually one condition: “Take your sister.”

As a child, I hated hearing those words. Once, as if middle school wasn’t awkward enough, my parents made me take Maria to the movies when me and my friends were meeting up with some boys. I pulled her aside before we walked in.

“Don’t talk,” I told her. “Just stand over there.”

The memory still stings. But here’s the incredible part: Maria loved me anyway. She was always at my sports games. She proudly took pictures with me before every homecoming dance and prom. Eventually, she stood beside me as my maid of honor on my wedding day. Today, she’s the godmother to my three boys.

She wasn’t just my older sister. She was my biggest fan, long before I learned how to be hers.

Somewhere along the way, my embarrassment turned into fierce protectiveness. It hurt when people called my sister names like “the r-word” or stupid or slow, but at the time, I didn’t know what to do with that hurt. Looking back, I think my heart was beginning to quietly turn that pain into purpose.

I also remember the people who loved Maria exactly as she was. My high........

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