Parents meddling in your love life is a tale as old as time. But technology does change the game a little.

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Dear Family Beef,

I (F/33) am single and have been since the end of my long-term college relationship. We were together for 5 years before calling it off in my mid-twenties and I’ve been on the apps, trying to meet people through friends and events ever since. I’ve had a few short-term relationships and maybe a handful of okay dates that went nowhere — but I haven’t had someone I’d bring home to meet my family.

My mom has made no secret that she doesn’t love this (and that she wishes I got married to my ex, despite our amicable mutual split). She and my father got together when they were in their early twenties. They met through mutual friends at work, had me and my brother within three years and are still happily married. She knows that I want a partner in life and frequently tells me I “waited too long” and that I wasn’t “really trying” with all the different dating apps available. It hurt when she said that but I was never going to sit down and explain the depressing reality of getting a “wyd” message from a 30-something on tinder to my 63-year-old mother. But now I feel like I don’t have a choice.

I found out recently that she actually made a profile for me on Bumble! The profile itself isn’t that bad— the photos are maybe a little old and not really what I would pick for myself and the other info is a little boring/bland. But I still feel really weird that she signed up for the service (a paid version too?!) without talking to me, that she dropped her own dating profile version of me in front of me and said “see, it’s not that hard” and that she seems so sure that I am the reason I am single still. It all turned into a bigger fight and now I have my brother and dad texting me and asking me when I’m going to make up with her.

We haven’t spoken in a few days, while I figure out how to respond. She didn’t try to hide the profile or anything or swipe or talk to anyone (thankfully!), but I feel like my mom doesn’t understand my situation at all or how bad the apps can be and it makes me feel pathetic that she’s trying to take my love life into her own hands.

I don’t want to fight with her but I want her to know this isn’t okay either and I’d really like her to be nicer to me about all of this because I’ve put a lot of time and therapy into learning to be happy with myself as a single person even as a I look for love. How do I put an end to this fight without letting her think this is okay?

— Mother Knows Best

Dear MKB,

Whether she meant well or not, your mom made a call that seriously overstepped (and, unsurprisingly, stepped in some shit in the process).

Parents meddling in their adult children’s love life is a tale as old as time, but that doesn’t make the situation any less maddening when it happens to you — and the feelings under the more basic beef seem like they run deeper than an off-brand profile of you making its way to an app.

The profile itself (and whatever made her think making it was a good idea) is one problem to address, but the seemingly frantic and overly-critical attitude toward........

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