The author hugs her youngest son.

The first time my youngest son headbanged, he was about three years old. He flung his head back so hard, I heard it thud from the other room. I panicked — rushed to him, felt the back of his head for a bump, and sure enough, found it. I grabbed a flashlight, checked his pupils for size and reaction to the light, and then got him into the car to go to the ER.

I’m the mother of two autistic boys with different support levels. I have experienced meltdowns in all their forms ― the heartbreaking ones, the dangerous ones, the ones that test your patience and your strength. But you know where I’ve never seen them? On my camera roll. And absolutely not posted on my social media.

Every time I open my explore page, I find a mom shoving a camera in her child’s red, tear-streaked face, repeating a phrase in an attempt to recreate a meltdown that just happened. While their child was in distress, the parent didn’t think, “How do I comfort my child? How do I help them? How do I reach them?” They thought, “How can I make this happen again to post it?”

One day on TikTok, I came across a woman who had set up her phone and hit record because her teenage son was having a violent outburst about wanting a preferred food. She calmly told him that they would eat it another day, and he attacked her. I opened the comment section, and what I saw was vile. Then I clicked on her page: five million views, the video pinned so everyone could see him like that.

Another creator’s entire page is dedicated to her child’s violent outbursts. She has montages of him hitting her, edited to a cute........

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