‘You Have Nothing To Cry About’ And Other Common Phrases Therapists Say Are Harmful To Kids

These statements can lead to issues down the road, like anxiety and emotional regulation problems.

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As your child is screaming, throwing toys or refusing to listen, it can be easy to say something you don’t really mean when reminding them how they should be acting.

Disciplining kids is tough, especially if you’re also feeling frustrated or mad in the moment. But many of the ways today’s parents were disciplined as children are actually problematic – and experts warn that those approaches shouldn’t trickle down to the next generation.

“Parents discipline the way they were disciplined, even if we don’t realise it,” said Leda Kaveh, a licensed clinical psychologist and owner and director of Washington Psychological Wellness and Washington Insight Solution.

“Parenting behaviours are strongly influenced by early attachment experiences,” Kaveh continued, adding that cultural norms around obedience, as well as chronic stress and financial pressure, play a role.

If you have memories of a parent disciplining you in a way that didn’t feel affirming, there’s a chance you’re doing that to your child, too. (That is, if you haven’t worked through it in therapy or another way.)

Below, therapists share the phrases you really shouldn’t say to kids when disciplining them, and how they can be quite harmful.

“Why can’t you be more like your brother?”

Statements like “Why can’t you be more like your brother” – or sister, neighbour, cousin or whoever – are harmful........

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