When Domestic Violence Is In The Headlines, This Is What Happens To Survivors Like Me

“There is always the possibility that these experiences have altered something in me that may never be the same again.”

Whenever a story about domestic violence makes headlines, there is always a moment of shock, a cycle of coverage and then, eventually, silence ― until it happens again.

With each new headline, my body recalls a familiar set of emotions: rapid heart rate, short breaths, sweaty hands, and, in most cases, tears. For me, these are not just names on a screen; they are triggers for memories of parts of my childhood I’d rather forget.

In the last few weeks, the murders and attempted murders of several women have dominated the news. And in a recent horrifying incident, eight children were killed in what is being called a mass domestic incident. The focus has been on what happened in that moment, who was killed, how it happened, and where it took place. What is missing is what happens after, especially for the child who survived and for other children who grow up in environments shaped by violence long before it ever becomes visible to the outside world.

In the United States, a woman is killed by an intimate partner about every 8 hours. Although thankfully, my own mother survived, my heart is with the children of those whose mothers did not.

And although my mother did survive, I am also a survivor. Trauma........

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