What Youngest Siblings Bring Up The Most In Therapy

From struggles with boundaries to not being taken seriously, here’s what youngest children need help with even as adults.

Culture & Parenting Reporter, HuffPost

Youngest children are often thought of as the lucky ones – the babies of the family who skated through childhood with fewer rules, more freedom and all the attention.

But therapists who work with youngest siblings hear a very different story.

“The youngest child sits in a fascinating and often painful paradox,” Erin Pash, a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Pash Co., told HuffPost. “They grew up surrounded by people who loved them and people who consistently underestimated them.”

Although the youngest sibling may face different challenges compared to the forgotten middle child or the “parentified” eldest, their psychological wounds are no less valid. It’s also important to acknowledge the wide range of experiences that youngest siblings can have.

“The research on birth order and its impact on personality and mental health is pretty limited and quite mixed,” said Caitlyn Oscarson, a licensed marriage and family therapist.

“Birth order is only one piece of someone’s story. The family dynamics, relationships and life experiences, along with genetic dispositions, are likely much more important than simply being the youngest.”

Things like culture, parenting style and sibling age gaps can play an important role as well.

“I encourage people to use birth order as a starting point for curiosity rather than a diagnosis,” said Priya Tahim, a licensed professional counsellor and the founder of Kaur Counseling.

“The question isn’t, ’What does it mean to be the youngest?” but rather, “How did being the youngest shape the beliefs I developed about myself, my relationships, and my place in the world?” When we explore those questions in therapy, we often uncover patterns that no longer serve us and that’s where meaningful growth begins.”

There are some general themes that tend to emerge on that journey as well. Below, therapists share the most common issues youngest children bring up in therapy.

Not being taken seriously

“One of the most common themes I see is the struggle to be taken seriously,” said Altheresa Clark, a licensed clinical social worker and founder of Inspire4Purpose. “Many youngest siblings describe growing up being viewed as ‘the baby’ of the family, even well into adulthood. As a result, they often feel their opinions are dismissed or that they have to work harder to prove they are capable, responsible and independent.”

She added that many youngest children feel underestimated, as though their family can only view them through the lens of who they were as a child.

“If your older siblings changed your diapers and wiped away your spit up, it may be hard for them to truly picture you now as a full-fledged adult,” said Natalie Moore, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “Even if you’re competent in professional and personal areas of your life, your........

© HuffPost