We are all done with dating apps and love being embarrassing. Romance is coming back in 2026, writes columnist Marissa MacWhirter

To be single and dating today is to be a sailing stone drifting across the parched landscape of Death Valley. Confusing, directionless, lost in an arid wasteland where romance has long since dried up.

I’m reminded of this every time I open a social media app and scroll through my feed. It’s become an endless stream of content addressing the idiosyncrasies of modern dating. Or ads for boundless new dating apps that appear overnight to capitalise on loneliness. Situationships, being left on read, ghosting, having a roster, choreographed dances to cringe voice notes men have sent to women or headlines about how boyfriends are embarrassing and ruining your aura, reign supreme.

I always considered myself to be a hopeless romantic. Yet after this year, that belief is in shreds. Anxiously checking my phone to see if the person I like has sent me a message? According to my feed, that is just dopamine dating, and I might have ADHD. Love at first sight? Having a crush? Unrequited love? It might actually be limerence. According to the internet, everything I thought I knew about love is a trauma response. Watching Love Actually, I start to wonder if Sarah loves Karl or if she is just experiencing an involuntary infatuation characterised by intrusive thoughts mixed with euphoria and despair.

Dating apps turned love into a product category, but since capitalist markets require constant growth, the business model of these match-making machines relies on no one making any real connections at all. In the years........

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