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In my legacy and wishes planning business, I hear a lot about families who are torn apart after a death over the "grandma’s blue bowl" phenomenon. That is when there is a family heirloom that may not have a lot of material value but holds a ton of symbolic value in the family. If grandma didn’t designate who to leave it to, family members fueled by grief tend to fight over this physical representation of family lore.

But things have changed. More and more young people don’t have the space or emotional connection to family "stuff."

A post has been making the rounds on social media about a woman who asked her children to pick out which of her good china and silver they wanted after her passing. None of them wanted it at all. One of her children pointed out that the china hadn’t been out of the cabinet in 30 years. Another said she was looking forward to using one of the plates as a Frisbee. The woman was devastated.........

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